I can't speak for anyone else. I can't speak for the world. But I can speak for myself, and I know that nothing you do could change my opinion of you. [ Because he believes in him. Because Daniel wants to believe that even if something like that would happen, Jesse would have a reason, or he'd feel horribly guilty, or any combination of factors that don't make him some sort of psychopath.
He just can't imagine Jesse that way. He never could.
(Isn't that what the unconditional love of a parent is like?) ]
If you want insurance, write those words down somewhere. Shove them in my face if it ever seems like it does change something with me. Haunt me with it forever.
But you won't need it. Because it's not going to happen.
[ A tear rolls down his cheek and splashes onto his arm, and Jesse wipes at his eyes furiously. Crying, when did he start fucking crying? ]
you dont know me
[ Not really. All he knows is that impossible, fantasy version of Jesse. The one who studies for tests and tries his best. Lives up to his potential.
It hurts, saying this. Like he's piercing himself right through the heart. But it's better this way. Better this than let himself believe Daniel could really care about him, believe in him, the way he says he does.
Better this than letting him down. Because he will, sooner or later. He always does. ]
[ He knows it's factually true. Witnessing those words entering his mind still feels like it hurts though. Even if they're not the same words, he's instantly reminded of that time he stood in front of a boy in the small convenience store, getting similarly rebuffed.
He didn't give up on Robby back then. He won't give up on Jesse now. ]
You can always be. Whenever you want to.
[ That's the only thing he can do, right? Insisting never works, and Daniel knows it.
You can only leave the door open, and hope the other knows it'll stay open like that. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I can't speak for anyone else. I can't speak for the world. But I can speak for myself, and I know that nothing you do could change my opinion of you. [ Because he believes in him. Because Daniel wants to believe that even if something like that would happen, Jesse would have a reason, or he'd feel horribly guilty, or any combination of factors that don't make him some sort of psychopath.
He just can't imagine Jesse that way. He never could.
(Isn't that what the unconditional love of a parent is like?) ]
If you want insurance, write those words down somewhere. Shove them in my face if it ever seems like it does change something with me. Haunt me with it forever.
But you won't need it. Because it's not going to happen.
no subject
you dont know me
[ Not really. All he knows is that impossible, fantasy version of Jesse. The one who studies for tests and tries his best. Lives up to his potential.
It hurts, saying this. Like he's piercing himself right through the heart. But it's better this way. Better this than let himself believe Daniel could really care about him, believe in him, the way he says he does.
Better this than letting him down. Because he will, sooner or later. He always does. ]
im not your son
no subject
He didn't give up on Robby back then. He won't give up on Jesse now. ]
You can always be. Whenever you want to.
[ That's the only thing he can do, right? Insisting never works, and Daniel knows it.
You can only leave the door open, and hope the other knows it'll stay open like that. ]
It's always up to you.